The above is the title of a book written by Cherie Carter-Scott PhD, who is an international lecturer, consultant and author. Cherie gained her PhD in Human and Organisational Development, founded the MMS (Motivational Management Service) Institute and has written much about human communications, behaviour and attitudes, with her ideas also being used in life-coaching.
Cherie Carter-Scott’s rules for life are also known as ‘The Ten Rules for Being Human’ and are briefly outlined below, she bases her thoughts on the premise that life is a series of lessons which you have to live to understand.
Rule 1 - You Will Receive a Body - You receive a body which you need to accept not reject. Perception of your body is in your own mind and has no bearing on how your body actually looks. You must choose to accept what is inside.
Rule 2 – You Will be Presented with Lessons - Every day life presents you with opportunities to learn more. The lessons are specific to you and it is your choice whether you learn from them or not. They are the key to you becoming your authentic self or ‘to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life’.
Rule 3 – There are No Mistakes, only Lessons - Personal growth is a series of trials, errors, victories and setbacks, failed experiments are as much a part of the learning as successful ones. It is inevitable that things will not always turn out as you would wish, but that is part of developing towards wisdom. Along the way you need Compassion as a remedy for judging yourself or others too harshly and Forgiveness as a way to erase emotional debt. You also need to behave ethically, employing integrity and humour to become able to laugh at yourself and your mishaps.
Rule 4 – The Lesson is Repeated until Learned - Lessons will repeat in different ways until they are learned, then you can move onto the next lesson. You need to be aware of your ability to change so as to execute this rule and also accept that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance. Things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. You are responsible for yourself and what happens to you, but you need to exercise patience as change doesn’t happen overnight.
Rule 5 – Learning Does Not End - Throughout life you are always learning and as your wisdom expands so does your capacity to deal with challenges. Accept the process of constant learning and challenge, be able to acknowledge your weaknesses and be flexible to move outside your normal. Rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.
Rule 6 – There is no Better than Here - Avoid the concept that ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ and realise that continuous longing leads to discontent. Enjoy and be grateful for what you have and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the good things rather than measure and amass things that don’t lead to happiness. If you live in the present it helps you to attain peace.
Rule 7 – Others are only Mirrors of You - You see others as a reflection of yourself and love or hate in them what you love or hate in yourself. See the qualities you admire in others as characteristics that you have embraced in yourself and allow them to evidence your feeling of self worth. Try to have an objective perception of yourself and a clear awareness of yourself, your thoughts and your feelings, whilst also being tolerant of and accepting others as they are. Support others and in doing so you will support yourself. Where you are unable to do this, it is a sign that you are not adequately looking after your own needs.
Rule 8 – What You Make of Your Life is Up To You - You have all of the tools and resources you need and what you do with them is up to you. You must be responsible for yourself, let go of things you can’t change and find the courage to embrace opportunities that arise. Allow past bad memories to recede into the past as all they do is cause bitterness and clutter your mind.
Rule 9 – Your Answers Lie Inside of You - Trust your instincts and innermost feelings. Intuition and ‘little voices’ in your head may well give you the answers to problems. Draw on your natural inspiration.
Rule 10 – You Will Forget All This at Birth - We are all born with these capabilities, but experiences take us into a physical world away from our spiritual selves and make us cynical, doubtful and lacking in self belief. We need to find ways to be true to our real selves and not to behave how we think outside influences want us to behave. Aspire to be wise. The only limits to wisdom, the ultimate path of your life, are those you impose upon yourself.
I know I am learning all the time!
Stephen G Savva FCICM
Credit Management Training Ltd
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